Question: to what extent do unrealistic expectations of a relationship affect a relationship

Sam Carr answered on 10 Jun 2017:

I think unrealistic expectations ALWAYS negatively affect a relationship. If you are asking your relationship partner to be something “unrealistic” – something that they cannot really be – then you are setting them up to feel like they don’t measure up to your expectations (so they’ll feel like they’ve failed you, aren’t good enough, or will be angry at you for asking too much). You are also setting yourself up to feel like they don’t measure up to your expectations (so you’ll maybe resent them for not being what you want them to be).

Unrealistic expectations are things relationship partners place on each other in so many ways, in relation to looks (e.g., “I wish you were prettier, sexier, better looking), appearance (“I wish you were cooler, wore better clothes, didn’t wear that horrible outfit”), intelligence (“I wish you were smarter”), or time and attention (“I wish you spent all of your time with me and gave me all of your attention”). They always place great strain on a relationship because you’re wanting your partner to BE something they AREN’T.