Why is it believed that our relationships with our parents will cause us to have the same relationship with them,

Question: Why is it believed that our relationships with our parents will cause us to have the same relationship with them, because surely ours would be different.
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Asked by Goose to Ben, Sam, Kirsty, Maggi, Rose on 13 Jun 2017.
- Kirsty Miller answered on 13 Jun 2017:
  
  Hi 🙂 Do you mean that we will have the same types of relationships with our partners as our parents have with each other? Or do you mean that we treat our parents the same way they treat us?!
- Rose Turner answered on 14 Jun 2017:
  
  …or do you mean with our future children?
  Our relationships with our parents certainly have a strong influence on us, and sometimes that can be complicated. For example, if your parents divorced, you might find it difficult to trust a partner. Or if your parents were very strict, you might then be strict with your children, because you learned that that’s what parenting is like. Of course, these patterns are not unchangeable (and they can vary hugely), and being aware of the impact of your relationship with your parents on your other relationships is a very good step towards ensuring you use those experiences to make your relationships positive! If it is something that worries you, you can talk to a counsellor who can help to work through any issues. 🙂

Question: Why is it believed that our relationships with our parents will cause us to have the same relationship with them, because surely ours would be different.