Question: hi Sam,my good friend seems to think the world revelves around finding a girlfriend, his excuse is that he needs one because it makes his depression worse. What do you think he should do and how can i help him get over this?

Sam Carr answered on 10 Jun 2017:

Hey there. Sorry to hear your friend is struggling with depression.

Well, there’s no simple answer to a question like this one. Your question hints that your friend believes that finding a girlfriend would help him with his depression. I guess it’s really important to talk to him about why he feels that might be the case. Does he feel it would make him feel less lonely? Does he feel that he’d have someone who might understand him? Who could be close to him? Intimate with him? Understanding the problems he feels a girlfriend might “solve” for him might be the first step – because it seems that this “mythical” girlfriend has been built up as the answer to all of his problems (and other people rarely are!). I’d say talking about these issues is the first step.

But I wouldn’t do that in a judgmental way. I think this could be a way to kindly help him begin to work through what he’s actually feeling.